Introduction to Diary of ME! October 15, 2009
Tags: books, cool blog, Diary, Diray of ME!, Funny blog, Syrian American
Ok, this is going to be a kind of rough description of how I am “planning” to write my Blogs “Diary of ME!” *
First of all I will not be writing a typical type of diary, where I explain every single little detail and/or thought, no, I have no intention of boring your brains out. Other than the fact that doing that is quite boring, for you and me, I don’t have the capability to remember all those details for those peeping toms. I am also planning with my friend that we share this blog, that is for another time though, just keeping you in updated.
Secondly I will try to be as humorous as I can, which, by the way, is much simpler in real talk ( it isn’t that easy for me to put it in words, well I can but you wont get it, so that wont be much funny to the readers)
Thirdly I will not be actually telling you about the whole day, most likely just a scene of the day, or the main thing that happened to me, or that I saw ( for my age, I have seen too much, and NO, I am not cliche’ing’, it’s true!). The main reason I want to blog this is because of all the crap that is happening in my stage of life1 and all the other crap I have to endure, it is too much for any human o_O
*( You notice how much of uncertainty is in that sentence? well, I underlined them just incase)
1( Bakaloria, but we can get to that later, as in : “Different article” type of later not later in “this” article, you should be realizing how much I like getting the idea to you accurately )
Fourthly 2 I would just plainly want to catch up on my writing skills, since I dont have much of an English talking-using environment around me, I mean that as an insult by the way, an insult to where I live 3
2 ( I just learned that fourthly is actually a word from the proof reading in firefox, I am starting to like this :D )
3 ( I would say more, but I have no desire for getting throw into a hellhole, but I will try to pass on the idea * cough * non directly * cough * if you get my meaning through my bloggings )
Fifthly 4I got the idea of the cute mini numbers, a.k.a (Superscript), from reading Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud, which I really enjoyed and recomend you guys to read, it is really great ( for those guys that dont have the resources to be able to buy/touch/think/read the book, send me a message * cough * you get what I mean?)
4( new word added to brain, again, thanks to firefox 5)
5 ( I prefer Opera over firefox by the way, but I got reasons for using WordPress on firefox * cough *, but firefox is second to Opera, just in case someone here is a firefox love)
I also plan on using the superscripts depending on the readers opinions about it, and of course, this might sound a bit nooby 6 but I do appreciate any constructive criticism or advices, that can be brought to my attention ( apparently, the attention of others too) to help me on the road of blogging and help you on the road of ,,, well,,, reading funny blogs.
6 ( Noob: A “nice” swear word, used when someone gets frustrated/angry/funky/fervented/pissed or for /fun/no reason/noobishness/showing off the ability to have a vocab, towards the victim of the cursing/swearing that probably never did anything wrong/was innocently watching the game ( or whatever it was)/didnt know he did ( or is doing) something wrong/hacker/a real noob a.k.a newbie ( I mean it as”new to the game” )/a guy\gal who just relishes in the displeasure of others: Word is derived from Newbie Example Sentences : “HEY NOOB, GET OFF THE SERVER”, “Ha Ha-Ha Ha, nooooob“, “this might sound a bit nooby 6“)
I also want to explain the future things I am “planning” to do on my blog, even though this has very little to do with my post. I am planning to link links of some of the things I really enjoyed, as in, blogs, ebooks, posts, idea, news, blah blah etcetera etcetera etcetera. Plus other extras which I haven’t thought of yet O-O, but are already thought of in future tense!
Well that is all for now, till the next summoning!
Resources used for Article 7: PC ( including keyboard, all the things in the case, mouse (including battery) and screen), Electric, Net, Friend’s advice, ASK Company ( or something like that ), Body ( including hands and head and eyes), Brain, Knowledge , WordPress (duh), and most importantly THE CRAP THAT I CANT ENDURE! ( but you are going to endure in my future Articles Muahahahhaa!)
Estimate Time of Laboring (fun laboring): About an hour or so
7 ( I hope you saw that I capitalized the A in article! to show how much I think of my Article, see,, I did it again !)
Introduction-Bacaloria “Dairy of ME!” October 21, 2009
Tags: :D, Bacaloria, Diary of ME!, Education, Ways of torture, what napoleon did
In the cruel, barbarously tyrannical world we live in, there are alot of contraptions for torture and inhumanly treatment. Modern or old or ancient, each and every contraption has a history of creation and usage. Most are “forbidden”1 or so called by groups of people such as the Human Rights, others used for simple interrogation or other “sincere” reasons, and are knowingly, to the people of the country, used by formal officials or “Big Groups”2. Others used by the idiots of society that have a liking towards the devil for Godforsaken reasons of the unknown. We hear of them sometimes by what we call rumors, brought to us by the media. Emails of the tortures occurring in Guantanamo, secret US underground labs, blah blah. Tv, the news channel, showing you scenes of riots occurring throughout the world for inhuman treatment. For those people that care, or think alot, you could find alot of these contraptions of torture by simply accessing to the net or from past knowledge. For others, none cares as long as they don’t see them3, because even if we did see them, and have proof, we simply can’t/won’t do anything about it. Admit it; the world is being thrown into a pit of darkness and anguish in a basket woven from sins. Now, you might be thinking that after all this jargon and evil talk that I discovered a new “big” thing, or that I’m advertising the need for us to demolish the “evil”, or simply want your money for “charity” or some other kind of excuse5. But, no….. you aren’t even close to what I am going to talk about4. What I am going to talk about is a very, skillfully hidden6 damnable type of pure evil torturing contraption. Bacaloria.7 Dude it isn’t even tangible!
NOTE: [the ‘c’ in Bacaloria is pronounced k]
1(forbidden,, bah!, not for the big people *cough*)
2(big groups for the certain people of the country such as countries that have no government tend to be ruled by groups)
3( ahh give me a break, we all know that there’s secrets going on underground, no matter how much we push the idea away from our minds)
4(unless you read the title [Bacaloria], which alot of people don’t read by the way)
5(I don’t mean don’t give charities money! (You must do that) I meant that you must be careful where you give your money)
6(for alot of people (not including Americans and alot of other people) Bacaloria is right infront of their faces, that is what I meant about skillfully hidden, right infront of your face and you DON’T REALIZE the pure evil it is made from and crap it crams into the head of your sons and daughters (or, in my case, crams into your head, I don’t have kids,,,,,))
7(oh,,, the drama!)
Ok now, first of all let me make this clear for everyone who is blessed by not knowing what Bacaloria is nor has gone through the stage of Bacaloria. (By the way, from now on I will replace the word “Bacaloria9” with the more, simply, suitable word “crap”8). “crap” is the stage almost every 17-19 year old in the middle-east* must do10 to get a “life”, or he has to go through his life in a trash as a hobo , unless he has a relative that can sponsor his life. When doing a “crap” you must submit yourself to excessive amounts of futile crap and torture for at least a year because if you don’t get what you want on the first chance ( you can only submit the “crap” exam once a year and that is though a month) you are going to have to wait a second year, or more, depending on your luck, till you get psychologically disordered, a.k.a. mental illness (that is if you didn’t get it in the first year ;)) Of course, you can’t see the true horrorific abomination that “crap” really is, yet, not even after you finish reading this post. It is too surreal to be understood simply by reading, you must have to go through it. So I am going to be more detailed. “crap” is the stage ( as previously written) where you “get a chance to a life”. In laymen’s terms, “crap” is middle-eastern High School. It isn’t like most parts of the world where you do 4 years of high school and get a diploma depending on whatever it is your country depends on. Nor is it like the Bacaloria (called Baccalaureate in English, and seemingly French too) of other countries where, like Spain (for example), you have to just pass certain exams. I can’t really try to differ it from all the types of high schools around the world, just believe me (or at least believe others which have the experience (they have to be from the middle-east, other than Lebanon and Saudi Arabia)) most middle-eastern Bacaloria differs by a long shot compared to ANY type of High School on Earth or off it. It is harder even compared to the French Bacaloria. A student must waste a year at the least to be able to submit the “crap”.12 “crap” is composed of 8 subjects :
*(I am talking about the Middle Eastern Bacaloria, non other)
8(I used the word crap, not because it really is the most suitable, but because I can’t really use the most suitable word for 3 reasons
- I would be taken to prison
- I might go to hell if I don’t repent from using the suitable words
- I really can’t find a word near the proximity of what my feelings (or other people’s feelings) are towards Bacaloria9.)
9(no I am not capitalizing the B in Bacaloria for my respect towards it, but for the fact that it is the main idea of my article. Also realize that I didn’t capitalize the C in crap)
10(do, as in, memorize – study – waste a year of his life in idiocy- work out to the ministry of education that he wants to do Bacaloria (which is easy in some countries) – go to the admissions center to submit the exams through a MONTH (yes I said month, it isn’t a typo)
12(he or she can submit the exams one a year for through a month without wasting a year, but I said “at least a year” cause he or she needs that much to memorize the books, unless of course, if he or she has some sort of einstein- nano technology in his brain, including the month is which he or she does the examination)
- Arabic : Story – Memorizing Passages – Essays – Grammar which is ‘from the first day of school in your life until the last chapter in the “crap” book’ – Poetry
- Math : Geometry – Trigonometry – Algebra – “tahleel”14 – ”Qatoo3”14
- Physics : Electric and Mechanical
- English : Science – Grammar – Essay – Reading and Comprehension
- Chemistry : Dynamics and Main Chemistry
- French : Reading and Comprehension
- National Socialist Education
- Religious Education The grade for Religious Education is dropped from the total, but the students have to pass it anyway (if one fails in 2 subjects he or she has to repeat the entire year of agony and torture). 13
NOTE: I might be missing some, they are just too much…….
13(this is all rough translations of the subjects, they mostly teach us it in Arabic or French)
14(I don’t know what the word tahleel or qatoo3 means in English)
The exam adds up to a total, of which I won’t have the liking to mention. So I will give you an example: Lets say the total adds up to 100. Certain countries (which I also won’t have the liking to mention) have a need for you to get 98 out of a 100 (no, also not a typo) to be able to study in Medical School for somewhat regular prices. The other departments of schools follow suit in this grading process (example: for Engineering you must get around 92.) Now what happens if you miss a grade? (like got 94 instead of 95) You either live with what you have or, repeat the “crap”…. AGAIN. You can (if you got a grade close enough) go to a Private University, but that is EXTREMLY expensive.
Well, no problem, if you didn’t have to MEMORIZE every single thing! (no matter how small or big, stupid or pointless.) As you can unveil from my writing, there is little study compared to the memorizing that must be done. For example, not only do students have to memorize the laws (formulas) but they must memorize the proof of the laws (not all laws), and how the law came to be (from using other laws) and they, in some cases, must implement the law while solving the problem (usually a physics or math problem.) Speaking of proof let me move on to the history of “crap”, so maybe you could try to fathom the evil of “crap”.
Like I wrote in the beginning of the article, every evil contraption has a history, whether thou beith tangible or not. Evidently, from my immeasurable time on the internet, Napoleon I (the I stands for first, not his autism15) had the glory of inventing this evil instrument of evilness…….. and apparently “crap” entered into the territory of the middle-east through the hands of the despicable 16French when they despicably entered and occupied the non-despicable lands about the middle-east. Well, “that” was around the 1940s…… That’s old. I saw someone write, “Here they are[ the students], at the tender age of 17 or 18, coming face to face with a dinosaur, which for all practical purposes should have become extinct by now.” Now why do you think the relatively SAME curriculum is implied in 2009 and will probably be used for the same amount of time it had strived in the nightmares of the middle-eastern people, which is an estimate of 70 years? Don’t look at me; I got no idea, not even a meager idea
15(according to my searches, many people aren’t sure what mental issues Napoleon had)
16(I mean no offence to the French, except in the time of the beastly occupation)
Ok, solutions? You got 3 options. 1. You do the “crap” 2. You do it in another country 3. You live like a hobo. Very little choice, most people tend to go with the first option, because they don’t know any better. Lots of people think that “crap” is a gift to the world and humanity as it is. They really don’t know any better, and if they did, they either don’t want, or they can’t leave the country to do High School somewhere better and come back to the middle-east. In almost all options the power is in the hands of the leading family members (usually the Father of the family or both the parents). The Father will most likely tell his son/daughter , (if any idea comes to him/her that he/she can save himself/herself from the “crap” misery), that millions of people have done “crap”17 including him, so it doesn’t come down to his son/daughter if he is going to do it or not.
Now some people might say, “Hey, you can cheat since it is so horribly hard”. That is totally OUT of the question. Most countries have a Fort Knox for the test questions, and a very foolproof strategy when it comes down to concealing any information of the exam until the time is right (which of course is exam time) Any attempts of stealing, cheating, etc of the testing information or anything of proximity, will be punished severely, with the right to a ******. Let’s not say more of the results.
Now let’s pretend together that you have a son, and you want to let him do “crap”. First you’re going to have to send him to school, which isn’t as easy as to simply sign him up at some school, but that is a different topic. There are competing schools for “crap” and each one was made to traumatize and stress out the student as much as the laws of the Earth allow, but at least they will get it done at the least, providing that your son still remembers who you are. In some countries the schools are known nationwide (like some kind of company or something), and families from all of the country send their kids to these “Corporation- like” schools. Not only that, but instead of them giving you money for the pressure, and loss of your son for a year, most of them necessitate exuberant funds18 to help you cram crap into your sons cranium. Of course they do help, but it is still too much, because not only do you have to send them to school, but also you need to pay for tutoring. Now is the silly part. Your son comes home from school, he needs to eat fast because the tutor is coming in an hour, now YOU as the parent have to worry (worry more I mean). The teacher, being a regular “show-off” AND having a lust for cash, will charge you some more exuberant payment for he is not a regular tutor; he is a gift to humanity.19
Now I think I wrote too much, this is enough for now. Enough so you can understand what “crap” is, because I am planning on using it time and again in the “Diary of ME!”
18(a lot will ask for money more than once, for different reasons, but not all, I don’t want to be mean)
19(at least in his view, though lots of people are totally oblivious to the fact that he just wants your cash)
THIS IS ONLY AN INTRODUTION TO THE TERM “ BACALORIA “ SO YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE OTHER POSTS! AND I KNOW IT IS A BIT LONG……..
Resources used for Article: Same as the ones used on “Introduction to Diary of ME!” plus, about 3 cups of lemonade, a bit of Pringles that weren’t mine, and time- lots of time.
Estimate Time of Laboring (fun laboring): A couple of hours each day for 4 days.